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A La Carte Huh? The Blonde Goddess Is Confused West Virginia Political Sweatbox
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May 9, 2008: Annoying Campaign Season Things 1. Ads using kids. Is there anything more hackneyed than hearing a politician say he or she’s “for the children”? It’s almost like some politicians feel they have to say they’re for children because if they don’t, heaven forbid that someone might think they’re running on an “anti-kids” platform: If Joe Politician is elected, he’ll make sure to sponsor legislation requiring children to work long, arduous hours in textile mills. That’s because Joe Politician is most definitely not for the children, and he’ll work hard against them. He’ll even make them wear boxing gloves. This election, vote for Joe Politician--for the sake of the adults who are not for the children and, most of all, who want to see children dressed in boxing gloves. 2. Ads using kids dressed in boxing gloves. I kid you not. I actually received a political flyer featuring a toddler wearing boxing gloves! And if I were in the law firm that had first used a kid wearing boxing gloves in its ad, man, would I ever be pissed! 3. Automated phone calls. I received an automated call from West Virginians for Hillary Clinton tonight. Does anyone believe that the best way to connect with a voter is through an impersonal automated call? Of course, if someone from Hillary’s campaign had called me, I would still not vote for her next week. But still. 4. All the signs. Hey, here are a couple questions for all you candidates claiming concern about the environment: What do you do with all those paper signs you’ve stuck all over our countryside? And are you planning to recycle them? 5. Clueless campaign worker. Reminder to those folks running for circuit judge: Please make sure your phone callers learn to read their scripts with some passion and conviction! Also, when I ask your campaign caller to tell me if you’ve accepted donations from lawyers, the last answer I want to hear from him or her is “I have no idea.” 6. Obvious hypocrisy. If you just voted yourself a $5,000 pay raise, then it’s not a good idea to tell me that you voted to raise teachers’ salaries by less than $2,000. 7. Hard hats worn by the candidates and/or the actual folks who use them at work. The second most-hackneyed device in political flyers and commercials. 8. Joe Manchin. 9. Politicians standing on median strips waving to passing cars. Especially with the kids dressed in boxing gloves.
May 8, 2008: Whatever Happened With Fred Armstrong? This is the most recent article I could find. Man, there sure was a lotta outcry about his firing last November, huh? What happened to all of that? I’m sure hoping this doesn’t become “part of the wallpaper.”
May 7, 2008: On Good Sense "This is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never--in nothing, great or small, large or petty--never give in except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy." -- Winston Churchill And good sense says now would be a good time for Senator Hillary Clinton to concede the nomination to Senator Obama.
May 6, 2008: Can’t Help Myself I’m going to watch American Idol tonight. I’m sorry, but sugar pie, honey bunch, I can’t help myself. If television shows were food, then American Idol is the pink cotton candy, and I’m in danger of developing severe dental caries from all the pounds I’ve consumed this season. The amazing thing for me about American Idol is how much I love it despite Ryan Seacrest. With the exception of this guy and this guy, Ryan Seacrest annoys me more than any other celebrity. Of course, I’m not including Dr. Phil as a “celebrity” on my list because I consider him mainly as a psychologist and author. A few years back, I posted some “celebrity math” that the now-defunct Spy Magazine originated, and I equated Ryan Seacrest “with a hammer” to Ty Pennington. I really used to love watching “Trading Spaces” until Andy Dick appeared, and then the show gave some couples $50,000 to renovate their homes. Come to think of it, add Andy Dick to my list of celebrities who annoy me more than Ryan Seacrest. Simon Cowell rocks. His critiques are spot on most of the time. And I think if we had more brutal honesty in this world that it would be a better place. We might not even need lawyers if everyone told the truth no matter how painful it is. On second thought, maybe brutal honesty isn’t such a hot idea. I like Randy Jackson. His criticisms about the contestants have grown harsher this year, but overall he still provides a nice balance. I really, really like Paula Abdul. If I could invite anyone to our Passover Seder next year, Paula Abdul would definitely make the list. So would Bob Dylan, Greg Maddux and Ellen DeGeneres. Someday, in fact, I’d love to see a television show called “Celebrity Seder,” where the producers would invite several celebrities over for a complete Seder and tape the entire conversation over dinner. As for this year’s American Idol contestants, David Archuleta is the best singer, but David Cook is the best entertainer. Jason Castro’s charming and he displays an excellent sense of humor, but he doesn’t have the chops to win it. I like Syesha Mercado, and when she connects to the song, she can definitely compete with the two Davids. Wow. My teeth are already hurting.
All original content copyrighted by HG 2004-2008 except for photos of celebrities that are obviously not mine. Dig? |
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RECENT FEEDBACK |
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expressivecynic [at]yahoo.com Whatever. |
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