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October 31, 2005: The Bumblebee And The Bear
Here is the bumblebee:
Here is the bear:
And here are the bumblebee and the bear:
The kids had a good haul on their first official trick-or-treat. The Tootsie Roll Pop won this year’s title for “Most Frequently Received Candy.” The winner of the “Only One Of These Treats Received” award was the Willy Wonka “Bottle Cap,” which, not surprisingly, I did not include in my candy tournament (the Donutbuzz National Candy Assortment Invitational Tournament or “NCAIT”) last March. And in another shocker, this year’s NCAIT winner--the awesome Reese Cup--did not find its way into the above jack-o-lantern.
On a positive note, no popcorn balls, Mary Janes or throat lozenges were received.
October 29, 2005: Treats I Don’t Want To Find In My Kids’ Jack-O-Lanterns
10. Mary Janes. Every year, somebody in my old ‘hood bought these candies. I never learned who it was. But take heed: I will be checking this year.
9. Toothbrushes. I knew a dentist who delighted in handing out toothbrushes for Halloween. I bet Christmas was a gas for his friends, too, but I wouldn’t know because I’m Jewish.
8. Popcorn balls. As a child, I never received any popcorn balls. I’ve heard stories about other kids getting popcorn balls. I don’t want my children getting popcorn balls.
7. Pennies, nickels and dimes. Small change was the forerunner of today’s coupons for goodies at restaurants and fast food places. In 1978, it was cool. But now that there’s Paypal, there’s no excuse.
6. Single pieces of chewing gum. Do you have any idea how hard it is for a child to fashion a smile and utter his “thank you” to somebody while he’s watching only two pieces of Bazooka Joe plop into his plastic jack-o-lantern? Do you?
5. Cough drops. I’ve never seen this happen. I’m just sayin’.
4. A rock.
3. Candied apples. My mother never let me eat these treats and pitched them in the garbage. As I see it, why upset this family tradition now?
2. Anything with coconut in it. I hate eating candy with coconut in it.
1. Lollipops from the bank that have been gathering dust in the back of the kitchen cabinet for the last five years and that refuse to separate from the plastic wrapper after minutes of your plying action. Near the end of the trick-or-treat hour, someone runs out of candy. Don’t let this happen. Please.
October 26, 2005: Connected
It’s strange. I love electronic gadgets, but until the last couple months, I never owned a cell phone. I did have a cell phone that my previous employer issued me. I seldom used it because I didn’t travel often. When I misplaced it, I didn’t miss it.
The last couple months changed my dependence on the cell phone. I haven’t been without one. Truth told, it’s really my mom’s cell phone. She loaned it to us for my hour commute to work, and as the days passed into weeks, I accepted the cell phone as part of my daily routine, and I used it to maintain my contact with family--as well as my sanity. I couldn’t make long-distance calls from work, which meant that I couldn’t communicate with my wife for ten hours without a cell phone. That was tough because I usually ate lunch at home every day and didn’t spend more than a half an hour traveling to and from work.
Now that we’ve settled into our new surroundings, my cell phone is still my constant companion. When I’m at the grocery, I dig using the phone to call my wife to confirm that we do, indeed, have chicken in the fridge and that I need to remember to buy more apple juice for Seth. When I saw folks on their cell phones in the grocery in the past, I recall laughing to myself and thinking how cell phones tethered them to their work. But in the process of pulling up stakes and moving our family, I’ve reconsidered my stance on cell phones. It’s good to feel connected.
I guess this was a long way of saying that I really appreciate my mom’s loaning us her cell phone, and that I need to get my own cell phone.
October 24, 2005: About That Last Entry, You Know, The One With Those Cheez-Its
I meant every word I said. And that includes the word “ymmy.”
October 24, 2005: About Those New Fiesta™ Cheddar Nacho Cheez-Its
They rock. They are so ymmy. I left out the “u” in “yummy” because they’re so good that I go “mm” when I eat them--hence, they’re ymmy Cheez-Its.
Given my luck with my favorite snackies, Sunshine® will discontinue these ymmy treats.
October 23, 2005: Marbles & Purr-plexed
Meet Marbles and Purr-plexed:
We carved them tonight. One of us also dropped Marbles on the front porch a few minutes after this photo was taken. Efforts at reconstructive surgery on Marbles’ face proved futile. (Screws failed us in the reattachment process and we couldn’t locate our duct tape, either.)
October 22, 2005: Must Not See TV
As an avid a formerly avid watcher of television, I appreciate the release of a classic show on dvd. But some shows don’t deserve the dvd treatment. I nominate the following shows as unworthy of release on dvd:
1. America’s Funniest Home Videos. Not.
2. The A-Team. I pity the fool who buys this dvd.
3. Get A Life. Take the advice and never waste your time watching anything with Chris Elliott in a lead role.
4. Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica. ‘Nuf ced.
5. Punky Brewster. “Hey, hon, don’t fret it that I Dream of Genie and Gunsmoke aren’t on dvd yet--we have two seasons of Punky to relish!”
6. Saved by the Bell. Ok--I admit I’ve probably watched every episode of SBTB. And I love the theme song, too. But I don’t think this series merits a release, either--except, maybe, for season five, which features all of the Tori Spelling episodes.
October 18, 2005: I Dig Thee, I Dig Thee Not
I dig Halloween. I love the costumes. I love greeting treat-or-treaters at the door. I love the candy. Giving and getting it.
I don’t dig you if you don’t love Halloween. If your inner child went on a sabbatical, then I suggest you leave with him or her, too.
I dig Lost, old Warner Brothers cartoons, uptempo Jazz and allusions to obscure flicks and books.
I don’t dig people who mock what I dig. Especially when you know you dig it, too.
I dig my family.
I don’t dig people who don’t like kids.
I dig eating those new Kit Kat™ bars.
I don’t dig the wild card format for MLB playoffs.
I dig being taunted based on my height and baldness.
I also dig sarcasm.
I dig getting a new movie from Netflix.
I don’t dig receiving a dvd with scratches that skips.
I dig the new West Virginia quarter. I don’t dig having to pay double to obtain the “D” version of it at the coin shop.
I dig a clean public restroom.
I don’t dig a public restroom without toilet paper or a sink that functions.
All content copyrighted by Hoytster 2004-2008.
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